I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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