So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
