I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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