He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
