Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize