at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
