Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They took my balls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
