Im at strip club and am horny
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
