Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
