She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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