My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
