She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
