I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
