I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
