Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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