I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
