But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
