unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
