only you would photoshop your dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
