considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
