...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize