You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
