I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
