Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
