I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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