in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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