Your face is a jimmy john
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
