matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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