I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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