i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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