u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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