One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
