My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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