You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
