you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
