My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
