New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
