I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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