im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There's even glitter on my cock...
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