Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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