Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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