i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
