I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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