Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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