plz talk dirty to me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize