Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw a hot homeless man
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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