Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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