Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
