Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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