She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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