it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
