I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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