It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
