There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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