You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
