Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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