Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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