Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Randomize
