South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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