i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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