i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
