It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
