the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Its about making memories worth repressing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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