New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
