hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
