i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
