# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
