You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
