Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize