there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
