i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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